Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Seasons' Greetings

Courtesy of a co-worker...
For Our Democratic Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For Our Republican Friends:
"Here's wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"


Blogger Cardinal Martini said...

That's a good one =)

3:53 AM  
Blogger porchwise said...

As a life-long democrat, I wish you a Merry Christmas along with the millions of other democrats whose only secular belief is seperation of church and state.

5:47 PM  
Blogger matty said...

to our american countrymen, don't worry about our theory of unlimited unreviewable executive power during wartime. after all, we're at war with terror. now, as soon as all the world's terrorists are gone, we promise we'll go back to that old outdated checks and balances system. in the meantime, if anyone questions our need for this, please accuse them of wanting to harm america. and try and steer the conversation to the war on christmas until we can check their records.

love, your limited government.

8:49 PM  

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